What, me worry? Unfortunately, yes.

Sunday afternoon crankiness is no stranger to me. The weekend is already almost over and work dawns tomorrow. The crankiness is born of anxiety and it’s a leftover from the time when my head was up my butt when it came to work.

A lot has changed since those days, the result of some wonderful mentoring and a bit of work on my part. I’m not that guy anymore, and yet the Sunday jitters still remain, though not as forceful as they used to be. When it happens, it’s latent crankiness and magnification of what might go wrong (but hasn’t and probably won’t).

Since I profess to be a Christian, that’s a faith issue as much as it’s a head-up-my-butt issue. If I trust that an all-loving God is truly in charge of everything, faith in his omnipotence is supposed to take the pressure off. I’m taking a test I’ve already passed. Condemnation has been mathematically eliminated. I literally have nothing to be anxious about.

And yet, there I was, thinking about tomorrow morning as a low-level fog of dread started to roll in. (And I checked my Garmin–again–to make sure my pace was acceptable.)

It’s an irrational set of feelings. I’m really good at what I do. I have the trust and support of the people I work for and the majority of my internal customers. People whose job is to put events on trust me to get the best possible situation for their event technology. That’s not a tiny thing.

I haven’t had a brutal meeting or phone call in months. There’s literally no reason for me to be anxious.

More than that, with the Fibro, anxiety increases the chances of a flare or even a crash. There’s enough that can cause problems without my baseless fears putting their finger on the scale. In a way, my lack of emotional discipline is self-sabotage.

So now I have some homework. I need to pray and think and practice changing my point of view. If I can remove that layer of garbage from the person God made, I’ll be better for myself and for others.

And that’s where you live a mark in life. Being comfortable with yourself so you can be present for others.