A year ago, when I got out of bed each morning, I did so only grudgingly. And only after calculating how many more times I had to do that until Saturday. I’ve never experienced hell–not real hell–not the hell of being in war or watching a loved one die a protracted, painful death. Those things are real hell on earth. But my experience is an approximation.
Today, I’m fine–physically anyway. Who knows why?
In a related point, sometime this week, I’ll look at something coming up and figure doom to be inevitable. Most people see the glass half full or half empty. I see the glass as about to tip over and spill on my laptop, ruining everything. It’s the doom thing.
Since things have gotten better, one thing I’m trying to do is remember what happened, remember how awful it was. And then remember where I am now.
As I read through the Old Testament, it’s remarkable how the Israelites–as screwed up as they were–put so much effort into remembering what God had done. Read the Psalms sometime. Read how they talk so much about how God delivered them again and again. The Red Sea. The Manna. All of it.
The simple fact is this: based on what I believe, I have a God who won’t just allow me to talk to him any time I want. He wants me to talk to him. He’s excited. He knows my name and he’s always glad I came.
And if the maker of the freaking universe is excited to hear from me and wants to spend time with me, what could possibly be bigger than that? What could love could possibly compete with that?
Hate is not the opposite of love. Apathy isn’t the opposite of love.
Fear is the opposite of love.
When you are afraid, you cannot love. When you’re afraid, you’re concerned about you. You build walls that none may penetrate. A fortress deep and mighty.
You can’t love someone when you’ve built a wall to keep them out.
Except for my own hypocrisy and smallness, there’s no reason to build those walls. Because no matter what’s already happened and what happens tomorrow, there’s no reason to fear. The experience of my life proves this point. I have someone looking out for me.
So there’s nothing to fear.
Except snakes. But that’s just common sense.